AFL SEASON is here. Crickey. Thank jebus for that. No more talk about Kohli being the equivalent of a Kanlin K-7 (swell design but can’t execute, google it) or the Smith / Maxwell / Wade love triangle (try to work out which one loves the other).
HERE’s my top 8 prediction:
1. West Coast Eagles
What happens when you take a delicious Chinese meal and throw in a hot dog? Bloody fantastic that’s what.
Throw in the slickest midfielder since Scott West and you’ve got the makings of a team which is going to be damn hard to conquer. Combine that with a home ground advantage stronger than the western provinces of China and even the boy band “New Western Sydneyers on the Block” will struggle to knock them over.
2. Greater Western Sydney and Albury and Country NSW and Regions
Leon, anywhere the light touches is your kingdom
Note: I know that GWS has recently had some of its concessional area’s capped so don’t get all snarky.
GWS will probably win the premiership. They are too talented not too. They also seem to thrive on the “moment” so watch them come out and smash their opposition come grand final day.
3. Hawthorn
Drowning in controversy, Hawthorn pulled off what many thought they couldn’t, land JOM and T. Mitchell. Yes, they had to offload some pretty swell players to get them in S. Mitchell and Lanky Lewis.
2016 Hawthorn Trade Period Enquiry
Despite losses of key personnel, it’s hard to see the Hawks falling off the wagon this year. They still have arguably the strongest forward line in the AFL and the addition of some midfield grunt will fill a deficiency from last year.
4. Sydney Swans
Sydney doesn’t need to innovate to be competitive. They have been dominant for the last half a decade. 2 Grand Final losses in the last 5 years will make them hungrier than a Kardashian in a botox sale.
5. St Kilda
My smokey, my dark horse, my batman fighting against the villains of gotham. Despite having to travel 7.5 hours to get to their training ground, the Saints will increase in stature week by week. The thought of Hickey, Stevens, Armitage, Billings and Steele combining give me a tingle in the areas below my belt-strap.
Why weren’t there more clubs lining up to get Jack Steele?!!
6. Western Bulldogs
No I don’t think the doggies can go back to back. But, that doesn’t mean they aren’t a great team.
Will they compete? Ofcourse. I expect them to take the torch to every top 4 club. I just don’t think they can maintain the level of intensity they they exhibited in the finals series last year.
7. Adelaide
I’ve predicted Adelaide to slide for two reason:
- I don’t think they will improve
- Every team above them on this list will
They still have an enviable midfield. If they Crouch brothers can live up to their potential, they will be competing for top 4.
For some reason, when I think of the Crouch brother I think of Spiderman and Venom. Could be the fact that Spidey and Venom are always crouching. Or, it could be because they aren’t quite as cool or effective as their counterparts – Batman / Rory Sloane.
8. Melbourne
See St Kilda reference above. Love the demon’s midfield. Gawn, Viney, Vince, Jones, Watts (ha).
Watch them rise from the ashes and get their first finals birth since the cold war.
Notable Clubs not in the top 8:
Geelong – Still missing forwards. Aaron Black is not the solution. Touhy is no Enright.
North – Will compete for the wooden spoon in my opinion. Sliding fast than Psy’s fame (remember that Jerk?)
Collingwood – Could easily be in the top 8 but like Geelong, they are missing quality forwards. Buckley seems obsessed with building a team of midfielders.
Freo – I think Freo could be in the top 8, seriously. The return of Fyfe and inclusions of Brad Hill, McCarthy and (possibly) Bennell is jizz worthy for Freo supporters.